Spring Renewal

As the weather here in the Northeast US continues to warm, new beginnings seem to abound. Although the New Year celebration is more of refresh for starting a new year, I feel like the Springtime offers longer sunshine days, warm happy outdoor activities, and a realization that you can always begin again.

Life with two children has been bewilderingly challenging (sorry 'bout that) and I find myself forever scrambling to keep up with just the regular daily grind. That means my blog, crafting, reading, game playing, socializing, and general sanity have been compromised.

I have a plan.

Mr. LIH and I have worked to figure out how to make things just a little bit easier. We each plan to take a day off work to cook meals for freezing for a month. This should leave time for me, after work and/or in the evenings for all the above mentioned hobbies, AND exercise.

I miss writing patterns, crafting, having quiet time for reading without feeling guilty because there isn't anything healthy to eat for dinner and now we're going to have pizza or chinese food.

See you all soon! When I visit again, I'll write about what crafting I have been up to.

Excited

So this Saturday is Rhinebeck and I can't wait to go. My sister-in-law, a fellow fiber lover, will be coming along with me.

It's not so much all the buying options, but just seeing how many people are into what I'm into. It makes me feel like less of a weirdo. Some people think it's strange that I knit and crochet because I'm not a little, old granny hanging out in a rocking chair knitting up booties. Despite the recent "blow up" in popularity of the fiber world, it still remains quite a small blip on people's radar.

In other news, my Marshall sweater is chugging along quite rapidly. The pattern is easy and mindless so I 'm plowing through the body of it now. I haven't taken any photos of my progress because, even if I did, I probably wouldn't take them off my camera for days and days anyway.

I've stalled on the shawl. I think it's because I've pulled it out 3 different times, so now I have to kind of grin and bear it to get through the first bunch of rows before it will become fun again.

And since I have no content driven photos, here's a picture of something pretty.

Brush off the dust

I know in my last post I said that we had found our stride. I think that I might have been lying. 

Sometimes, that feeling of being in control is hovering just out of reach and it's covered in a slippery coating that is impossible for me to hold on to. Other times it's so far away that I don't see it at all. The worst part is that other people seem to have figured it all out, but I feel as though I'm not even close. Between guilt for working full time and being too tired to play with my kids at night and feeling rundown, it's as though I'm burning my candle at both ends and the middle is rapidly approaching. I almost have a feeling of impending disaster. Is this normal? If I could just put together some kind of strategy, maybe things would smooth out. At the moment, that is my priority; figuring this crazy life of mine, out.

I try to draw inspiration from people who have more challenges than me, because, truthfully, my life is good. I have a house, a family, a good job, and live in a safe area. Everyday, I work to remind myself that I have these things and even though everything is unbalanced, it's all good...

Step one, really, is to let go of the pressure. Let go of the self imposed, idealized versions of my life. I can't be super woman; I can't have a job, run a household, read all kinds of intelligent books, design patterns, write my own book, and care for my children, perfectly. That's the rub...perfection.

So, while I struggle to find my stride, maybe I will find time to log it all in here, and maybe I won't.

In my snippets of free time, I have been crocheting and knitting like mad. I've started a sweater as a Christmas gift and a shawl. The sweater is coming along ok, I had a few gauge issues, but I think I've worked it out. The shawl is still not working right. I used to knit/crochet very tightly and it was an annoying thing, but now it seems I'm the exact opposite and my gauge is way off. The sweater worked by going down a needle size, but the shawl...gosh...driving me nuts. You can see my tribulations on my Ravelry project pages.

And just because she's cute, here is a picture of my daughter.

Time

Hello.

I think we have found our stride.  It seems that things have finally smoothed out.  I can breathe again and little E can walk again.

Lily is GROWING.  I forget how fast it all goes, but in so many ways, I'm thankful for that.  Newborns are hard work.  She has been sleeping through the night for almost two weeks now and that's like a little miracle.  She holds her head up on her own now, miracle two.  Soon it will be baby cereal and sitting up.  Even though I'm in a small rush to see her a little more independent, it's an amazing thing to watch her personality emerge.  Everyday is something new.

I have had some time for crafting.  I've started this top.  UGH...it fits terribly so far.  In the pictures it looks so great on people, but not me.  I still have a few more inches to add and maybe it will carry the bulk away from my midsection.  If not, I may add a few more inches to try and get a better fit.  I would hate to pull it all out and it might not be me but maybe my choice in yarn.  We'll see.  It might look better in a drape-ier weight and material.

The pattern itself is sort of well written.  I feel like, it could have been edited better.  I think if you're a beginner, or even a not-so-confident intermediate crocheter, I would avoid this one for now.  Here's my project page.

One thing that I've been sort of chugging along on when I have any free time is a garter stitch blanket made in this yarn.  It makes such a cozy, easy to care for blanket and I had four skeins of it left over.  Whenever I have a free moment, I pick it up and add a few stitches.  So far, I've managed to get through two and a half skeins...

A few days ago I cut off about fifteen (FIFTEEN) inches of hair from my head.  I was so tired of it and now...it alllll gone.  Here's a sort of strange and forlorn picture of my ponytail.  And the second is a less forlorn but possibly just as strange Before and After picture of me.

3 Down And 3 To Go

Half way.....it feels like forever and it's going so fast.  Little man has adjusted rather well and I've been lucky to be on maternity leave so that I can stay home and care for him.  I also hired a nanny for three days a week and have had various family helping me every day.

I'm not sure when I will be able to resume my posting....my biggest obstacle to free time is my 6 week old little lady.  She is high maintenance and happy to be that way.  She's somewhat colic-y and seems to be a rather cranky infant.  That means, right now, my time is consumed with trying to ease her gassy tummy and help her get sleep.

Soon, 2 weeks in fact, I go back to work.  Little lady will go to daycare and little man will have our very wonderful nanny until his cast comes off.  Hopefully, at her 2 month mark her miniature system will grow out of the colic and we can actually leave the house.

Right now, she hates her car seat (even with the car moving or the stroller...strolling), hates when you sit and hold her when she's fussy, hates her crib, hates her boppy, and hates her play mat; also, occasionally hates the baby sling.  I literally have my hands full of baby most of the time.

Wish me luck because I really, really, REALLY miss having some time to knit or crochet.  But, in a crazy way, it's nice to have both kids at home with me and I know that I will miss them like mad when I go back to work.

And then it got complicated

Well, my little girl arrived 6 days late at 10:07a on May 25th.  She was a healthy 7 pounds 7 ounces and 20.5 inches long.  The pre labor was harder than actual hard labor...we named her Lily Hope.

Life was moving along...not much sleep, as expected...baby blues and a touch of post-partum, same as with my first...ok.  Then disaster struck.

We were all coming home from Ethan's 2 year well baby visit.  All was fine, and now his shots were all up to date.  We got home past bed time, so he was cranky and he hates the doctor and had a shot...so I anticipated a difficult night.  He ran into the playroom and proceeded to trip over Lily's playmat.  Usually I put the thing away so his dirty little sneakers can't get it all mucked up, but today I forgot.  My back was to him as I was putting Lily out of the playroom where he can't reach her.  

I heard him fall and turned as he started crying....I thought the amount of crying was odd, but he was so cranky already that I figured it was time for immediate removal to bed.  I did my usual injury check, squeezing various parts of him to see if he cried out...no particular response and I assumed he was fine.  I had Mr. LIH watch after Lily while I got my son to bed.  

He was acting strange...crying out seemingly (at first) randomly, and refusing to be put down.  I got him settled to bed but he was still acting weird and was sweating a lot and crying when we moved him.  My next thought was, he had a fever and was having pain when we touched him.  In went some ibuprofen and we brought him to our bed.  

It was now fairly late and he was still upset and not sleeping, so I called the doctor and spoke with a nurse.  She assured me that the shot and his teething were the culprits and wanted me to keep an eye on the fever.  Now, I'm thinking I'm a crazy, paranoid mom and tried to just comfort him through the night.

The next morning, he didn't seem better and now it was clear that he was screaming out in pain when we moved him and now he was shaking when he cried...then I noticed the swelling on his thigh and knee....

Ok, I'm thinking maybe he tore something or twisted something and I called the doc to make an appointment.  I also thought he still had a fever from the shot, so the doc wanted me to come in right away.

In the office, she checked him over and sent me directly for X-rays.  Until that moment I still felt like he wasn't injured too badly.  Then the X-Ray tech took the first picture and when she looked at me, I knew it was bad.  I went to move him for the second picture and she stopped me, saying that we needed to be very careful of his leg.

The doc got the "wet read" and called me immediately....his femur was fractured.  I was stunned...how could my healthy toddler, who fell all the time, in all kinds of crazy ways fracture the biggest and strongest bone in his tiny baby body?  She sent me to the ER and off I went.  I made it to the car before I started crying.  

We got to the hospital and the doc met us and looked over the X-rays.  It was a total break and a spiral fracture, my son would require a spica cast....just to add more...the doc was required to contact Child Protective Services.  She also dropped the little bomb that my son was in excruciating pain....they gave my little man, morphine for the pain.  I had been so stupid...my poor child had been suffering like that for so long and I thought it was nothing....

Don't let anyone EVER convince you that you're wrong about what might be going on with your child.  We were ready to go to the ER that night, but the on call nurse assured me it was the vaccine and teething...I should have been smarter about his behavior....instead he was left in pain by a mother who obviously sucks at her job.

So....to wrap it up...we were both interviewed by 6 people at 3am, they went to my house directly after that to take pictures and see my daughter, we are still being "investigated", my son is in a cast from his chest to ankle and down the other leg to his knee, and my daughter is 5 weeks old.  I go back to work in 4 weeks.  The doc feels bad for me because Lily is a rather difficult baby and doesn't really enjoy sleeping...ever.

Everything is so crazed that I don't even know what day of the week it is half the time.  Sorry for the long, picture-less post, but I wanted to offer an explanation for the blog silence.  I anticipate that it will continue as I struggle to find time to shower and eat, never mind posting.  Also crying...there is a plethora of crying....my son, my daughter, and me.

One last thing...to anyone who reads this that has been helping and/or offering to help me...THANK YOU....without my family I would be lost.

Waiting

Right now...we're just waiting...although I've been crafting, cleaning, cooking, and sleeping profusely my motivation to document and make coherent posts for this blog has been low.

I apologize for this, especially as I have a useful pattern modification for baby bloomers with a skirt attached to share.

I hope to get some inspiration and motivation soon, but hopefully my baby comes first.  I'm ready to be over with the diabetes, itchy, ITCHY skin, and frequent trips to urinate.  Wish me luck all and I'll be back, I promise.

WiP Wednesday - FO Edition & Home Update

Although I have a new WiP, I didn't get a chance to spread it out properly and get pictures, so instead I will show what I have totally finished....there was a few FOs that needed to be blocked and finally I got around to it this week.

My maternity leave has been a whirlwind of appointments, household chores, and cooking for after the baby comes.  I have to say I've done really well with that.  I've gotten lots of batches done and in the freezer.  All together I think I will have cooked about 22 lbs of chicken and 26 lbs of beef.  I did not keep track of the pounds of veggies that goes with all of this though.  Needless to say it was an expensive up front cost, but to keep us all fed and healthy for the first couple of weeks with a newborn at home, it was worth every penny and the hours on my feet, in the kitchen.

But I did squeeze in time to knit and crochet, and you will get to enjoy seeing the fruits of that labor....

Serriform Shawl :

Oaklet Shawl :

Simply Soft Blanket : 

Photo Friday

(spring flower)

Home Life

One more week and I'm on leave from work for 4 weeks (maybe) before Lily gets here.  We've decided on Lily Hope and I think it's nice and not too complicated.  My goal is to make it to 38 weeks, I'm not greedy, I don't need all 40 weeks, but I'd like to get a little further than I did with my son.

I'm both terrified and excited.  With Mr. LIH starting a new job and us having two kids, and the house to juggle, things have become somewhat more complicated.

You know that your weekend was busy, bordering on too much when you're ready to go back to work because it's easier.  The weekend was BEAUTIFUL, it's that time of year again for mulching, planting, weeding, cleaning, and Mr. LIH had so much of it to do...I could only participate so much.

Tomorrow he starts his new job and we're both nervous and excited.  It means more money, but with more money comes more sacrifice from your home life.  I'm a little nervous to handle dinner, bedtime, and cleaning up all by myself while being so largely pregnant, but it's only a few days then at least I'm off from work.  Once I'm not working, I know I can do it.

Also tomorrow is the first night for the Passover Seder.  We will go to my in laws and hope that Ethan stays content in his chair for the readings...fingers crossed.

Enjoy some spring leaves.

Photo Friday

(spring buds)

Product Review - PB2

I have to say...this stuff wasn't bad.  I mixed it with some water, slapped it on toast and ate it all up.

I will say that the water ratio suggested on the package is not all that successful, I had to use rather a bit more water, which I suspect, washes out the flavor somewhat.

The texture was fine, on toast, as toast is inherently rough, but I think that if you were to smear it on fruit, you might find the texture a bit off from regular peanut butter.

I felt it was lacking on salt, but I like salt, maybe more than lots of other people, so there's that.

My next goal is to bake with it.  My biggest challenge with weight loss has been the lack of peanut butter.  I love it and I love it in my baked goods.  I see endless posts of people who swear that it's perfect to bake with, so I will report on that when I get a chance to find a recipe and give it a go.

Fingers update

So this past week Ethan had the pin removed from his thumb and the enormous cast was replaced with a much smaller cast, leaving his fingers open to the air.

The office visit was awful, he cried the whole time.  He wasn't even in pain, he just cried and cried.  The orderly began removing the cast (they unwind it) and he cried....then they removed the gauze, yet more crying....ugh.  Even when you know it doesn't hurt, and even when you know that the whole process is for their own good, it's tough.  You're never really prepared for parenthood until you're stuck in it.

So, the next steps are to clip his really long fingernails (ick) and then four weeks in this cast.  After the four weeks, he moves into a night time cast with a splint that will accompany weekly physical therapy for up to 8 weeks, depending on how well it all goes (I guess).

Not too shabby, as the doc thinks he will not need further procedures.  He says that the thumb seems fairly stable right now and it's nice and straight, so fingers (er...sorry) crossed that it stays that way.

Photo Friday

(hyacinth bloom)

New Development, the annoying kind

I have to say, this second pregnancy is much more difficult than the first one.  Ironically, this time around, getting pregnant was actually easy, unlike with my little boy, but I seem to be having all kinds of hormone induced health problems.

We can start with going to the doctor in  December for a cold and she making me wear a heart halter monitor for 24 hours and then sending me for an EKG because I had 9% extra and skipped beats.  The conclusion....no caffeine, but all the extra blood volume has my heart doing the jig...all right...

Abdominal muscle separation...no one seems to mention this much, but holy moly is it uncomfortable.  Apparently, all the "stuff" inside me is pushing against my ab muscles, forcing them to part in the middle.  This causes me to have almost a constant ripping/burning sensation across the top of my stomach area.  The only solution, literally, is lying down.

And finally, I failed my glucose tolerance test, and proceeded to fail the 3 hour fasting glucose tolerance test by a hair and now I'm watching all my carbs and checking my blood sugar 4 times a day.  I know things could be worse, etc etc, but seriously...annoying.  It's kind of hard to balance all this stuff while working all day and caring for a toddler at night.  It's only for 3 more weeks, then work is over for a while until the baby gets here.

Ok, griping over.  I am really happy to be having another baby but sometimes I want to complain about it

Here I am....all 32 weeks (this week is 33) of pregnancy glory.

Photo Friday

(first spring crocus)

Ten Fingers

Mr. LIH and I brought our son in for surgery to remove his poly dactyl thumb on his left hand.

Now it's almost three weeks later and he's been a champ.  He has a hard cast from mid-bicep that extends down to cover is tiny little hand.  *graphic warning*  The cast is large and must be very firm to protect the thumb itself, as the surgeon had to insert a steel pin in through the top of the thumb to help stabilize it while his tendons and ligaments are healing.

His surgery was a lot less complicated, once they were in and so his recovery time is shorter, as well as the hope that he will not need additional surgeries to bring his thumb into the correct alignment.

I really think that this might have been harder on my husband and I.  My son didn't seem to notice anything was happening and despite being groggy and maybe somewhat disoriented after the surgery, was in good spirits.  He was up and running around in the recovery room, ready to head home.

Although the recovery is looking to be quite lengthy, I'm glad that we went through with it.  It will save him on social pressures and ridicule, as well as give him better mobility with his thumb.  He could use it ok before, but now his thumb will be functioning properly.

In another week or so we will be bringing him in to remove the pin and the cast in exchange for a "soft" cast (whatever that is) that will be on him for an additional 4 weeks, I believe.  After that, he starts physical therapy to rebuild strength in his arm and hand, with which he will have a "cast" that goes on at night for another 6 weeks.

Despite the cast, he gets along better than I feared.  He uses that arm as sort a lever to get himself into all kinds of trouble.  The only time I feel guilty is when he can't do simple things that he was able to do before.  Flipping through books has become somewhat of a challenge, taking apart his Legos after he builds them, and eating.  It seems my son might be left-handed and so he has some major challenges to use a fork with his right hand and just gets frustrated.  Otherwise, he handles the whole one-handed thing well.

I will update as we go through this process, but wish us luck.  I have a new baby coming in about 8 weeks (hopefully) and my husband starts a new job soon, so life is very much in flux right now.

Photo Friday

(tiny green strawberry)

Stuff I Bake

I have been a busy lady lately...with baking and cooking, that is.  I'm not sure what has come over me, but I just want to try new recipes, and I've been pretty lucky so far.  Only a few duds (which could be user error).  Unfortunately, now that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, my baking will reduce greatly as I severely cut carbs and sugar from my diet (at least the less healthy versions).

Donuts - I made these with a simple chocolate glaze instead of the red velvet version, but the basic recipe is great.  Super tasty.  I advise, if you bake them in the oven, bake them at the lower end of the time....they should stay nice and moist that way.  This lady's site has some great recipes and there are some other donut recipes that I really want to try.

Chocolate Cupcakes w. Diet Soda - There are a bunch of recipes floating around the internet for this type of thing.  I used Pillsbury Sugar Free Double Chocolate Chip Quick Bread & Muffin Mix and added one 12oz can of Caffeine-free Coke Zero.  Baked according to directions on the box for muffins.  Even though I have made these about 4 times in the past month or so, I have not taken a single picture.
I don't frost them, when I want to eat one, I take Cool Whip Free (sugar and fat free), cut the muffin in half, dollop of whip on each side and enjoy.  It's about 3 points per muffin.  So good.

Cheesecake Bars - These were awesome.  So easy to make and worth every second of the little time I spent.  I used smart balance instead of butter, no difference in taste.  I also had to use a bit more fat to hold the cracker crumbs together (I used coconut oil).  I also baked them just a little bit longer than the recipe called for, but that's easy enough to judge yourself...once they are set, they are done.  Mr. LIH said that they had a slight bitter aftertaste, but some guests we had over didn't complain and ate more than one bar.  Although the size of the bars looks small, they are fairly rich, and the size winds up being plenty for a serving.  Check out her site as well, Mmmmm....

Girlie baby stuff....

Although I have no time, I have lots of ambition...it's ironic and also a common predicament amongst us crafters.  I have two baby blankets to finish by May/June and another one to start and finish by July, but all I want to do is make baby girl stuff for my little lady or...shawls...yes...I feel like I never have enough.  I've also been baking like a mad woman, something my husband certainly appreciates.

I made these and holy moly they are delicious....and only 3 points per bar...not too shabby.

Now, more baby stuff that I want to make.

Mermaid Dress

This dress is really cute and since it's raglan it will be really easy to knit.  It's not free, but I might be willing to acquire such a pattern for the sake of cuteness everywhere.

Sweet Pea Sweater

This pattern seems great, my only issue is the price.  It seems a somewhat simple construction and they are charging quite a bit more than I would like to pay for a design like this.  It's so cute and appears easy to make, so it's definitely on my wish list for now.

Peachy Ensemble

I can't believe this pattern is free.  It's awesome.  It has matching booties, puffy sleeves, and bloomers.  This is a must make for me.

I will probably have to do another post of my baking escapades, a "round up" if you will, of yumm-e-ness.  If you can't wait for that, head over to my pinboard.  I try to comment on the recipes that I've made, including any modifications or things I didn't like.

If I can get some decent pictures of my blanket, I'll be back on Wednesday with a post of my progress...If not, maybe I can rehash the past few days of my little man and his hand surgery....such gripping blog fodder...I know.