Okay, I'm not even sure where to start because of how ridiculous it is.
My husband and I went to Temple earlier tonight for Shabbat. During the Torah reading, there was a series of overwhelmingly ridiculous events.
1. An older man was called up to read the Aliya. Hw had a large belly that was criss-crossed with suspenders and skinny legs. His shirt was a bright peach, very nice. His fly was down. Yep. That's what I said. Fly. Down. I thought I may pee a little.
2. Once the congregation realized his fly was down, the ripple of giggles and whispers started, this, of course, only makes you laugh harder.
3. The very wrinkly little lady next to me says, "He always does that. I always tel him not to." I can't even follow that up with commentary. I think it speaks for itself.
4. Then we started getting feedback. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "feedback, from a microphone?" Oh no my friends. The lady next to me and her hubby, it was their hearing aids interfering with each other. The people behind us are outright laughing at this point.
5. Each time the rabbi read the page number, people would repeat to one another, incessantly. Everyone must hear the page number at least 4 or 5 times. The lady next turns and leans over to see my book and then proceeds to ask what page we are on. The people behind me are no help, as they start laughing. I answer her and get a few "huh's" before she figures it all out.
6. There were two people there with oxygen tanks. Whenever it was fairly quiet, you could hear them release the pressure, in a way that made them sound like some strange percussion
This is our Temple. Awesome.